The Hardest Thing About Being Vegan

Two years gone by, and the thought occurs to me, I should write a blog post. So here I am. I started off reading over my last post, two years ago, when I was just settling back into Wellington life. I felt the need to write then because someone's sexist comment was playing on my mind. I felt the need to write today for comments on veganism. So here it goes, with fair warning this is an unforgiving, sick of this bullshit, ranty vegan post.

You tease, you joke, you laugh. I don't. It's not funny. Billions of animals being killed for no reason other than taste is not funny. The environment suffering for human greed is not funny. The fact that I care about this suffering, of animals and the planet, is not funny. I am doing the best that I can with my awareness of the impact of animal agriculture, and part of that is actually tuning out a lot of the reality. I think of all the poor sweet animals born into an industry which is truly horrifying, and it hurts. My heart aches for the animals who die for your dinner. I can't live every moment with that weight in my chest so I try not to think about it. Then you say something like "you'll be ordering the steak then?" and you laugh, and I laugh because I don't want to be that person, perpetuating the idea you probably have of "stuck up vegans." But underneath my laugh I am thinking about the cow. About every cow who stood scared in a slaughterhouse line, waiting for their death, in order to become your dinner, and there is nothing funny about it. I think about the cow and feel my chest tighten with that heartache, that pain, the absolute despair that my otherwise smart, kind, caring friends, do not acknowledge this suffering. I struggle to understand how someone can knowingly take an animals life so unnecessarily. I wonder how anyone can carry on doing that when they know there is an alternative. I hope just by being here, eating wonderful vegan food, being in good health, I hope this opens more eyes to the alternative. I will keep on, doing the best I can. Trying to laugh to keep myself from crying in the face of your "jokes." Trying to be understanding and patient because using animals is so ingrained in us, and it is hard to open your eyes and change your way of thinking, and then to act on that and remove yourself from such practices. It is hard to go against the majority, against the current accepted diet. Trying not to blame people as they order animal products, thinking nothing of the life lost for it. I will keep on trying to believe that you do not mean to hurt me, that you have no idea how deep your words go, though I cannot understand how you can find humour in the loss of so many innocent lives.

If you are reading this and are not vegan, I urge you to watch Cowspiracy, Earthlings, and Forks Over Knives. Please educate yourself so you understand why what you think of as a joke actually causes so much pain.

A Personally Happy Update

That getting things settled and in routine thing is coming together! New flat is going pretty well and the job front looks good. I have a waitressing job for now and I have some good prospects going for later in October - updates on that when some official signing stuff has been done.

I get to go back to pole tonight then out to dinner with my awesome man. And right now I am watching Mean Girls. Things are roling pretty smoothly personally right now. Shame on a national level things are abismal since half of the country thought it would be a good idea to vote our shitty government back in.

But that is it, just a short update for now.

Stressful Times

I now descend back to my blog with a sigh. I have kept thinking how I must write another post, round off the UK trip, and share the next step on my journey now I am back in New Zealand. I kept thinking "when I have had a couple of days to recover from jet lag, when I am not so tired, when I am not so busy." And that is now.

Writing helps me rid myself of frustrations and someone just caused me a great deal of frustration. I am no longer jet lagged and exhausted. I finally have some free time. So here I am. Writing away the stress.

I finished up my visit in England with a couple more catch ups with friends, including seeing the very cute How To Train Your Dragon 2 at my old regular cinema. I saw one of my very longest friends who I have known since before I would have any memory of it. And I got to take a pole class. It was all good and then I embarked on the long journey back to NZ.

The flight was pretty uneventful. I had to make a tight connection in Singapore but we got there in time and I continued on. When I got to Auckland I got to see a couple of my high school friends and stayed the night with one of them. Our long yarns meant little sleep so I was beyond exhausted for my bus ride the next morning.

I continued to be exhausted for quite some time. Having had so little sleep on my journey took it out of me and getting back to feeling like a living human took some time and then I was thrown straight into flat hunting and job hunting which came down on me into a big pile of stress. After the first absolute cram of trying to get a flat and job sorted in a few days in Wellington I had to step back and slow it down.

Now I have successfully organised the flat part and can focus simply on finding a job. I know it is unlikely that I will find a job I really love straight away and I will likely be spending more time in hospitality but at least I enjoy hospo work if not so much the unsocial hours. Once I have a job and I am more settled I can think about finding something more awesome a bit further down the line. Though this sounds like I am being reasonable and have my head together on the job hunt I don't really. It is stressful. I just want to get into work and get some routine.

One of my friends has just hit me with an awful start to any day by making a sexist comment towards me then refusing to acknowledge its sexism and how disrespectful he was being towards me so I now feel run right down again. I might have to bother getting dressed and take myself out for some fresh air and perhaps a treat along the lines of ice cream or frappaccino.

High Flying Visit

The majorly exciting part of the past week here has been... aerial yoga!

I went to antigravity aerial yoga classes twice at a pole studio near here and it was fantastic. Quite similar to the fly gym classes I did in Melbourne. This was the second studio I tried out in the area and by far the nicer of the two. The first one was in a fairly small, rather dark room, in the corner of a gym. The second was a lovely, large, bright space. I am hoping to get back in there on sunday and actually do some pole.

As well as that I have had more friend catch ups. A long time friend on saturday, who is a bit of a Countdown champ, and renowned Scrabble pro. Of course with my own wordy love and penchant for Scrabble I had to challenge her to a game. No one had faith in my skills so I had to prove them wrong and beat her. Which I did. Obviously.

Then last night I went out for dinner with her and a few other girls. The two I had Indian with and one other who couldn't make it last week. So lovely to see so many old friends. We had a nice meal at a lovely little pub and enjoyed catching up.

I am off to see two of them again after lunch.

World Wide Catch Ups

I came across the world to catch up with people and seeing all these old friends face to face is wonderful but I also want to take note that in our digital age it does not matter where in the world our friends are. Yesterday I had wonderful catch ups with friends who are currently in NZ, Australia, and Indonesia, and right now I am talking to one in America and hoping to soon hear from another in Australia, all through the wonder of instant messaging. These people are all dear friends to me, most of whom I do know through having once been local to each other but a couple who I came to know over the internet and whose friendships have truly stood the test of time.

As for my face to face catch ups, yesterday I saw a couple of friends for dinner. One I went to primary school with and both I went to secondary school with before I moved away. We went for an Indian meal at my old local. The owner basically watched me grow up and after 8 years was still able to recognise me and ask after my parents. My friends and I spent the evening reminiscing about our younger years, laughing at the silly things 12 year olds get up to, and filling each other in on what we have gotten up to in more recent times.

Really that is all I have to update on right now but I am feeling blessed to know so many great people and to have spent so much time talking with some of them over the past couple of days I just had to share my joy.

It's a Family Affair

Family is a wonderful thing, whether you grew up with them or you are meeting for the first time you have a connection to hold onto, as some distant relations at my second cousin once removed's (I think) wedding proved when we discussed our long line to relation, crying "you're family" embracing me, literally. The invite alone was testament to my lovely family. I had not previously met Will so it was an honour to be able to attend the wedding and meet him, his new wife, and much more family!

The wedding was beautiful. Seeing the Midsummer Night's Dream seating plan for the dinner tipped me off straight away, Will and Lucie are my kind of people. A lovely ceremony in a lovely setting was followed by dinner with a lot of wine and then even more dancing. We danced the night away finishing up with Bohemian Rhapsody, which the DJ was shown is not a song to be cut off in the middle. When he stopped the music it continued in the bellowing voices of those of us remaining on the dance floor.

The next day a catch up with a family friend continued my trip. Intending to drop in for a chat of course turned into a good few hours talking and catching up on the gossip of our mutual acquaintances. It was juicy gossip too, involving prison sentences and babies with disputable fathers!

Family is of course something which is not all smooth sailing and in the case of my brother's fiance the bumps have been many. A lot of the family have not gelled with her so I was nervous to meet her, but we did ok. I found her a bit rude in a couple of conversations but most of the time she seems reasonable and I could get on with her. I made my attempts at suggesting the both of them make more effort in communicating with my parents so hopefully they take heed of that. And hopefully neither of them stumble upon this blog because wouldn't that be a touch awkward! Ha. It was genuinely lovely to see them, though.

Having dinner with (two of) my cousins and aunt was a great catch up. They enquired as to when my brother would get married, no date set but we all promised to be there with bells on whether they want us or not. We were told it will be a Pagan ceremony. My older cousin was an absolute gem and bought me a few sweet gifts. Wine, cider, and shower gel, carefully checked for vegan suitability.

Spending a few days with brother and fiance wasn't the easiest game since they are both fairly solidly interested in not much more than games, but we did our best and even passed the time with a few games, getting granddad playing Wii (Nintendo land) and xBox (drums on Guitar Hero). He is a bit of a dark horse and was actually not bad at them!

We also got to see my younger cousin a second time for a drink in Leicester between taking a wonder round the shops and down the river. Then yesterday granddad and I set off for home with a stop on the way to visit someone else dear to me- Shakespeare.

Stratford-Upon-Avon is beautiful, whether Shakespearean heritage interests you or not the town is lovely, centered on the river, bustling with tourists, on that particular day enjoying fantastic sunshine. We got tickets for the hop-on hop-off tour bus and visited Anne Hathaway's Cottage, the church where Shakespeare is buried, his birthplace, and Mary Arden's (his mother's) farm. The history is fascinating, both of the families and the period. Well worth a visit.

Now back in Maidstone I have spent a day shopping and made plans to see more old friends. Home is keeping me well.

Enter Nostalgia

As was expected the nostalgia on this trip is strong, and I've made a good start on it.

On Thursday, a brilliantly hot, sunny day, with no particular plans, granddad and I decided we must go and enjoy that sunshine. I picked Tonbridge castle, a place that was prevalent in my childhood. We used to go there for things like Scout and Guide parades, and we often swam at the swimming pool nearby. So we drove via Yalding and Paddock Wood (both very relevant to me as some of you will know, if anyone is reading this other than my mum) to Tonbridge, and went for a lovely walk at the castle. It was a scorching hot day so after a while a cool down was in order so we bought ice lollies and sat in the park. I had to bust a move or two on a playground pole but forgot to get any photos.

Friday I went up to London and met up with Connor. We visited the Queen and then visited Georgia at the pub she works at. Georgia wins really, would visit her over the Queen any day. We had a good NZ in London moment there, then Connor and I continued on our adventure, got some takeaway lunch things to eat in the park, and walked round stumbling on the sights (Big Ben & Houses of Parliament, London Eye) then we were too bloody hot and went to Costa Coffee for cold drinks. Then Connor took me on a wild chase because his phone's map did something funny and sent us the wrong way for his interview, so we hopped in a cab to rectify our problem, then I headed back to Victoria Station to journey home. South Eastern trains gave me the proper service, complete with 40 minute delay.

On Saturday I had a family visit, seeing Aunt and cousins in Paddock Wood, meeting their playful pup (who is actually quite a large dog that thinks it is small enough for jumping up). That was about it for then, quite in contrast with the hectic day in London.

After that lull in excitement the feeling about Sunday is something like this: fhaungfjfrknhgsjk!!!!nfkdsngkj!!!!!!

Keyboard mashing is the closest I can come to describing it in writing. I was off to see my childhood best friend, after at least 8 years apart. I think we both had apprehensions. What if we don't get on now we're grown up? Does the other drink and party? Do we still both love walking, swimming, playgrounds, Disney, a good mix of sweets and healthy food? We can now ecstatically report that we are still a house on fire. Over the two days we shopped, cafe'd, ate salad, walked, swam, bowled, all while reminiscing, and we made plans for two weeks time when I get to see her again! 

I also met her fiance and their two lovely wee girls of the feline persuasion, Poppy and Milly. I heartily approve of this little family and I am super excited for them and their exotic wedding later this year, which my heart truly desires to attend but my bank account is sulking.